AMT Blog

The latitude: 0. The longitude: 25 00. This meant only one thing for some on board the James Cook, a transformation from lowly Pollywog scum into a hardy Shellback, an honoured subject of Neptune, with freedom granted to travel on the seas to wherever our hearts desire.

This metamorphosis was not as majestic as that may make it sound, however. The ceremony took the form of a court, with King Neptune himself (not as tall as you would expect) deciding the fate of the pollywogs, who had been gathered to face several charges raised against them. For example, one of the charges I faced was ‘not quite being a geordie’. (I am a Northumbrian, not a Geordie, and I was pleased and surprised to see King Neptune acknowledge the trivial tribalism of landlubbers). I pleaded guilty and was escorted by the police to face my punishment:

I will let the photo speak for itself, except to say that it was meatier than I had expected. Once we had all faced our charges, found ‘guilty’ (‘not guilty’ is not an option in the court of King Neptune, apparently) our metamorphosis was complete and we were Shellbacks. As proof, we were given an excellent certificate:

We can now take this  on other voyages we may go on in the future and we will never have to undergo judgement by King Neptune again. Crossing the Line Part Two will show how we pollywogs fought with great honour against our accusers and some special mentions.

Office of Origin: Davy Jones’ Locker Enterprises, Equatorial Monitoring Systems

To: Master, Royal Research Ship “James Cook”

Date: Friday 6th November 2009, 1300

Delivery by: Flying fish

MY SCOUTS REPORT THAT YOUR VESSEL IS PASSING OVER MY DOMAIN OF EQUATORIA WITH MARINERS THAT HAVE NOT PAID THEIR HOMAGE TO ME STOP BE PREPARED TO BE BOARDED BY MY SELF AND MY COURT FOLLOWERS DURING YOUR AFTERNOON 12 – 4 STOP WATCH TOMORROW STOP                       

 NEPTUNE REX (NNNN)

King Neptune - prepare to be boarded